Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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