What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

Jinoo walks into a club it's not a club anymore it's a slaying factory

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

CRY

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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