Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

thumb_up thumb_down +3

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops