A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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THE END.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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