If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops