A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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i have a christmas tree.

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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