Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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i have a christmas tree.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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