Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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