Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Hitler

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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brittney griner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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