whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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