whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Hail Heetluh

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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long in the tooth!

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John Stamos.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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