There's my tractor.

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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The dewey decimal system

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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