a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -31

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops