"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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GONNA

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Mitt Romney

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My penis is big... not.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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