How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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This joke is funny

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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