What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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GONNA

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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My penis is big... not.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Mitt Romney

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops