Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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