How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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