A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats cold and in a box...have a guess

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I like your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops