A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

Im batman...suck it losers

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

out of your comfort zone

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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