Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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The jets are a good team..

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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