What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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