Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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