How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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