You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Bacon is delcious.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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