once upon a time, it snowed

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

Andrew's a bald wankstain.

Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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