why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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kcuf read it backwards

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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