How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Omg its that superman nope chuck testa

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Hey, Max!!

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops