What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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