If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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