Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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A man walks into a bar

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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