3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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