A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops