What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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A horse walks into a barn.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Hillary Clinton

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops