A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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