If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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