What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

thumb_up thumb_down -19

69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your a vagina says you, you're a tit

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops