Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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4 1/2

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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How do you milk a cow? Make sure the cow is tied with a halter to a sturdy post or held in a stanchion. Clean the teats with soapy water or iodine. Warm, soapy water can help "bring down" the milk. Dry them, but don't rub or irritate the teats. Place a bucket underneath the udder. Better yet, hold it between your legs. This takes practice, but it can be done, easily and comfortably. This position lowers the chances of the cow kicking over an almost-filled pail of milk. Sit or squat in a position that will allow you to move away quickly if the cow becomes uncooperative. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, for example, is not safe. See Warnings below. A common milk stool is fabricated using two 2x4's cut and nailed to form a "T" - cut to fit your behind and make sure it is low enough to afford comfortable access to the underside of the cow. Apply a lubricant such as Vaseline to your hands to keep friction to a minimum. Wrap your hands around two of the four teats. Choose diagonal teats (front left and rear right, for example). Or, try the front teats first, then the back pair. Squeeze the base of the teat, after gently clamping each teat between your extended thumb and first finger, so that the teat fills your palm as you squeeze down. Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk doesn't flow back up into the udder. Do not jerk or yank the teats. This motion is performed by sequentially squeezing your fingers from the middle to the pinky to force the milk out. Be gentle yet firm. Keep your eyes peeled for mastitis. Repeat with your other hand. Most people prefer to alternate (right hand, left hand, right hand, etc.) the downward squeezing motions because it takes less effort doing it in alternate steps than all at the same time. Continue until the quarter that you're milking looks deflated. Experienced farmers can feel the udder to know exactly when all the milk has come down. Often even looking at the quarter just milked can tell you if it's been emptied enough or not. Move on to milk the other two teats. If you use the diagonal method, switching sides is not necessary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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