I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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