knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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