What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Elizabeth Warren

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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The NBA and womens sports

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops