Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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Internet Explorer

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Wright flyer

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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