What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Women's rights

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Cancer

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops