Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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