Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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