Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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William wright is Gay

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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