What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Why did it die Nothing died

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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