Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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