Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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