so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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Bumsniffer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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