Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

thumb_up thumb_down +7

acualy is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There's a god, just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops