i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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